I feel like the most horrible person on the planet. I just want to get up and make dinner. That’s it. But, I have been sick with respiratory infections, pneumonia, the flu, and now more sinus infections and upper respiratory infections back to back and I’m not sleeping and I’m so TIRED.

Nathan had surgery on his foot today and it’s all I can do to help him. I want to sleep. I just want to rest.

I am the worst wife of all time. I can’t even get up and make dinner. Every time I get up, I start hacking and coughing. I can’t do ANYTHING.

I honestly wish for death. I have been sick, physically, with everything stated above and then recovering and my mind is so jumbled, for almost a year.

No wonder I’m DEPRESSED! I feel like death!

I’m just ready to feel better physically. How does that happen?! How do I fix it?

I’m just so tired and I don’t want to just complain, but with my husband on his back and me constantly being sick… and I know what some will say…. At least you don’t have kids.

You’re right. I don’t. But, I do have at LEAST 9 alters to deal with and clean up after, a memory to recover, and a mind to attempt to nourish my mind back to something with some sort of normalcy.

And then there’s the world; the shootings, the fires, the hurt.

How can one person deal with it all?

I realize this is just a super complain-y post and whiny, but that’s because, damn it, I’m whiny right now.

I just want to sleep. I hate this crap.

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